Leo the late bloomer
This was one of my favorite books as a kid. It was about a tiger or something being a little slow from the rest of the pack, but eventually making it (I think, too lazy to look it up. #typicalLazyAmuriKuhn). I liked it mostly because the lions name was Leo and that’s apparently my birth dads name. Also, when time progressed when I was young, I imagined my dad as a slow tiger. Yessssss, to answer your question I was weird weirder.
So lucky me, my fantasies of my dad as a late blooming tiger have passed on to me. I don’t remember how the story really ended in that book, but I am pretty sure it was a positive learning experience because it was obviously a kids book.
hahaha where is this blog going? I don’t know I am passing time before Jimmy Kimmel starts. But I have accepted that in ways I am truly a late bloomer but that is because society has both intentionally and unintentionally molded our minds into placing age along with metaphoric checklists with things that we should have already completed. Are these check lists bad? Most definitely not. But are they mandatory to be completed at a certain time? No, and it is alright. I have yet to sit on a plane, learn how to swim, experience my first break-up, my first bee sting, my first road trip etc. etc. I still have accomplished a decent amount of my personal goals and I still have plenty of time to experience all the other things that a person will experience. I am a late bloomer in some respect. But the key idea is that I am blooming. The blooming is forever constant. As long as I know my pace is leading me in the right direction I’m pretty sure my pitty sad first world problems will only be a small blimp on my radar due to the great things in store for my life ahead.
I’m 20 and I am marvelous.
Miss you guys
All my friends are either starting their new quarter, traveling or completely busy. Thank goodness for the internet, apple pie and the fact that I live not that far from the beach.
On a brighter note.
After 6 weddings, I got my first check from the wedding agency I am helping at. I am now officially going to get paid for them now :). It’s not that much but honestly I would keep doing them even if I was not paid, it truly is the experience that is the most important. Well now at least I can use the cash to pay for the gas trips.
I am learning so much, i’ll take what I can get. I am blessed for the most part.
But isn’t this a cute letter? Yes, I am a Rock Star!
I CRYYYYYYYYYY
This did not start out as a good day, but it was mostly because I wasn’t letting it be a good day. I complained that I did bad on my French Exam, but it was because I know it was because I didn’t put effort. I didn’t realize I had a Argumentation quiz, but it was because I had absolutely no passion to look into that class anymore. And something else. But that’s not important. But in general, I had no one to blame for todays misfortunes.
Thank goodness for Ashley Kummer. Even if she did change dramatically and at times I find myself scared for her life. She still finds ways to make me crack up at times the way I did during sophomore year. Her stories at her job made me crack up which produces the inside joke, “I CRYYYYYYYY”
She saved me today from being all dull. That was a dramatic statement haha, she helped me realize that I had to just brighten up.
Not everyday is going to be great and at times I have to just be sad to just let it out. But once the sad is out try your damn best to brighten up. Cause as that typical saying This too shall pass.
Another positive note, I am not gonna lie I was on the verge of tears that I finally got a B on a homework set for astronomy all by myself. I usually get D’s and F’s and one time I got lucky and got a C (and also another time I begged the teacher to let me retake one and I got a A, but that was because I remembered the answers) but this time I actually got a B. It was a Homework set so it may not seem like a big deal, but to me I feel like the hottest man alive chose me out of all the gorgeous girls on the dance floor to slow dance. Gahhhhh this made my night The little things can cause the hugest smiles.:)
Positive thinking sillies.
Soul Mates
Surprisingly I finally understand an understandable definition of “Soul Mate” in my opinion when I watched the season premiere of Real World San Diego. Yes, I am watching it. Why? Well because 1)I loved the original San Diego Real World and could not help myself and 2)I live in San Diego and just like the rest of society I am some what of an egoist and like to go “Hey, I walked that same way” and “Hey, I sat there” resulting in an impromptu 3 seconds of an ahh haaa moment, where I momentarily feel like I am The Shit!
Ok back to the topic.
During a scene Alexandra described her relationship with her boyfriend to Frank. She went on to describe him as a soul mate but how she described it really made me think. She described that her boyfriend was a Soul Mate but it did not necessarily mean she was going to marry him. I forgot the exact words she used but she basically said that he was her Soul Mate for as long as he was meant to be. Then she went on that there could be multiple soul mates. And this was an unexpected ahh haa moment that I experienced.
My personal definition of a Soul Mate: [inspired by Alexandra from the second cast of Real World San Diego.]
I believe that a Soul Mate is someone that you were meant to have in your life at one point. I believe that destiny or fate or whatever it is you want to believe placed that person in your life to leave a lasting impact of either a learning experience that was both positive and hurtful or overall entirely positive. (I don’t think that sentence made entirely sense but I am trying to say that the first part meant that let’s say someone you cared for so much at one point disappoints you.) You were meant to bump into that person and have them in your life forever or for an instance. This is where I think I tweak the definition a little bit more, I think that a soul mate does not necessarily mean a “boyfriend.” A soul mate could mean a friend or friends. A soul mate is a lasting connection that can hold up even if you never see that person again.
I have never been in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship before so I usually cringe at that cutesy crap of soul mates. I eye roll at all that “he-completes-me” bull shit and I can become pretty cynical at the idea of fate and destiny. But after looking at the meaning of “Soul Mates” in a different way, I now understand.
During my life so far I think I have already run into a couple of my soul mates already. Even the ones that I no longer talk to as much or hang out with as much. My soul mates are the ones that have left a lasting long memory that guided me or even directed me in a way opposite to theirs that helped me learn and help shape the person who I want to be.
I have some amazing soul mates. :)
big thank you to Sarah, who gave me this album, one the best things in my life :>Natasha Bedingfield - Neon Lights
big shout out to josh for bringing this album into the lives of many.
Back to my usual silly self
After thinking to much and having a good period of continuous routine, I finally had a good share of laughs I was able to soak in.
At times I feel it necessary to have seemingly boring days/nights in order to be incredibly grateful and contrast your boring-like-days with the feeling of utter happiness.
Like take for example at work, my coworker has 2 jobs and finally had a weekend for herself in about 3 months. When I saw her back she just looked so refreshed and happy. Good Good.
:)
Friday night and happily not leaving this bed
I just finished semi re-watching Kathy Griffins my life on the D-Lists fourth season. I had no plans just rewarding myself with a meal after working and hitting up the neighborhood gym that’s filled with all the old hom!3z. Those senior citizens bench pressing a number that seems higher than my own weight is truly remarkable. Hollla gramps!
So just a bunch of random to make my Tumblr more vibrant. On Wednesday I bought my first semi full set of fancy makeup at Sephora, after my month long plus time I haven’t worn any at all due to my sexy larry visit that now is a scar. I didn’t look at the prices because I knew I would have a panic attack, one of which I indeed had at the register. I tested it out and it’s whatever. I was expecting, I don’t know, a princess-like-angelic-megan-fox-sultry look but I just got the usual sexy bombshell I see everyday. ehh. I need to learn the master of putting on a significant amount of eyeshadow without looking like I got punched in the eye.
If I could take a positive thing out of Larry’s visit, besides the whole Karma thing, is that it made me more fearless. It may not have been obvious, but I used to rely on my mascara and eyeliner as some weird sad shield for my so called self esteem. Without it I felt naked and a man. I even planned before summer to buy all kinds of waterproof eyeliner and mascara to wear at the beach. The first day of having Larry in my life I went to the beach with 2 pretty close friends and I was so fearful of just being… i don’t know.. denied of being considered human. But surprisingly they still wanted to be friends with me. Then at work the same day, I wore my visor down trying to avoid customers, yet they still bought smoothies. blah blah blah blah blah. I was still treated the same and now thinking about it after wearing my 70+ dollar make-up, idk it felt different.
the point is, I am so used to not wearing make-up (well the 2 necessities) that I no longer am dependent on them. It feels rather liberating like it was today just whipping my hair up and heading to Chipotle with my lack lack lack of defined eyes for a burrito, not giving a fuck.
Let me somewhat express myself :)
If you know me, I am not really good at expressing myself in certain areas. I’m not really that kind of friend that is open about talking about my personal life other than my flaws, school, work and silliness. I am rarely that serious and if I am I call it my venting periods that I let out for a couple a seconds and suck it all back in to seize the day with something more interesting. AHHHHH. I’m speechless and unable to say my peace with out speaking gibberish. But many thanks.
Thank you, for just being my friends silly!
This summer has been really fun so far. Even though I don’t frequently go out everyday, the moments where I do get out of my routine of work, errands and home have been really fun. Even if it’s just catching up for a couple minutes for a drink before work to simply going out to go job hunting, it has all been rewarding experiences.
I may not hang out with certain people as much as I want to, but any chance I have gotten, Thank you, guys.
I don’t really like putting labels on friendships, I don’t like the terms “best” and all that jazz, therefore I feel like that reason is probably why I hold myself back to a point in all my friendships. But even through that I still feel somewhat loved and important. I hope, even though I don’t properly show it, that you guys understand that I love really really really enjoy all your guys company :)
Night.
P.S: I know this post is out there and stuff, but after looking through my Facebook pictures (Not gonna lie), I felt a weird need to try to express myself.
Glee Live: I transformed into a semi civilized 19 year old to an annoying dramatic preteen.
I think this was my first concert I actually paid for and had actual seats instead of just standing trying to catch a glimpse of the performers. They were wonderful seats that gave a fantastic view of the stage.
My annoying fear was that I would end up sitting next to a 10 year old who would sing too loud and dance too crazy that I would not be able to enjoy the concert. Well I found that to be impossible because the music was too loud that you could barely hear anything else, plus the moment the curtains opened and they started singing “Don’t Stop Believin’” I transformed into that annoying girl who jumped and shouted and acted like they were performing just for me. Annoying, but I absolutely loved it.
We need moments were we transformed. I am always silly, if you didn’t know, but I think a dose of pure obnoxious adrenaline rush, heart pumping silliness is greatly appreciated especially when attacked upon you unexpectedly.
AHHH :) ~“~~~~*******
